A-Rod: Smells like Teen Steroids? Teenage Juiceland? Teenage Mutant Ninja Juicers?

In Uncategorized on April 30, 2009 at 5:14 pm

What are you smiling about?

The New York Daily News is reporting that in her new book ARod,  Selena Roberts – who broke the original A-Rod steroid story –  alledges that Rodriguez didn’t stop juicing when he joined the Yankees as he claims, and that he actually started using steroids as a high school ballplayer. A high school teammate of the controversial slugger said that it was commonly suspected that A-Rod was on steroids then, when he added 25 pounds of muscle between his sophomore and junior year. 

But the report gets even better, as Roberts explains how Rodriguez’s Yankee teammates nicknamed him “B**** T*ts” in 2005 after he put on 15 pounds during the offseason, much of the weight seemingly in his “pectorals” (male breast enlargement is a common side effect of steroid use). 

There’s not much that needs to be added to this story, other than to say that A-Rod is dangerously close to reaching historic levels of weirdness. His track record over the last year is actually overwhelming: 

– The Madonna relationship. Weird in itself. 

– His divorce and the subsequent allegations of extra-marrital affairs with masculine strippers. 

– The steroid bombshell

– The Details magazine photo shoot of Rodriguez kissing himself in the mirror. 

– His disappearance right at the height of the Spring Training media frenzy surrounding him, which absolutely reeks of foul play – either his hip injury is completely made-up or he was quietly suspended for flunking a drug test. 

At this point, there is no ceiling for future developments in the A-Rod saga. Anything short of an OJ-level situation wouldn’t come as a surprise to me. And I’m not even sure I’d be all that shocked to turn on CNN one day and see grainy helicopter footage of A-Rod fleeing police in a bright yellow Madza Miata with the top down. In fact, I think if I saw that I would just calmly nod my head and change the channel.


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